Running late last week for a birthday party I asked Steven to wrap a pair of earrings I'd bought for a friend. I came back five minutes later and he was nursing stab wounds from the scissors, had used an entire roll of scotch tape and an entire 30 foot roll of wrapping paper!! This is what I call "selective helplessness!"
For instance, some men can go into the woods, stand 20 yards from an innocent deer, kill it and justify the killing because, "it's for food!" BUT, you put that same man at home alone with no one to fix him breakfast, lunch or dinner...This same man could starve to death in his own house.
(Apparently it's "unsportsman-like" to go after meat trapped in a zip lock bag).
Fortunately, except for the gift wrapping problem, my husband rarely uses this "selective helplessness" tactic. He knows better. We've been married almost 7 years, on November 1st, and he's yet to ever look at me and ask "what's for dinner?" He's one very smart (or very scared) guy.
Off the coast of Ventura, California there are a small chain of islands called The Channel Islands. At certain times of the year, well, this time of year, hunters - after purchasing a $5,000.00 permit and waiting their turn on a 5 year waiting list - are allowed to fly out to the island and hunt. But, get this...It's an island. A VERY small island. There are few trees. The deer pretty much just stand around like cows in a corral. Here's how it works: The hunters are driven around on a jeep, the jeep stops, without leaving the jeep...they shoot their deer and that's it. That's "hunting" California style I guess. Personally, I just don't get it. I don't see where there's any "sport" to this activity unless you call "not falling out of the jeep," a sport.
I don't get this either...California is dry this time of year, right? REALLY dry. It's red flag fire season people. Everything is brown. We've had no rain for months and we won't see any until at least the end of October. Everything is BROWN. Crispy, dry and BROWN. But, these "hunters" (and I use the term 'hunter' loosely because I don't see any actual hunting going on) before boarding the airplane, start painting their faces and put on camouflage outfits.
GREEN CAMOUFLAGE OUTFITS! See? Everything is BROWN. The island is brown. The shurbs are brown. The beach is brown. Even the deer are brown. But, the hunters, are GREEN. Geez Louise.
So there they sit, in their GREEN camouflage costumes, with their painted faces, laughing like "good ole boys" straight out of Deliverance (but remember, these are pretend "good ole boys" - these are good ole boy wanna-be's. These guys have waited 5 years and paid $5,000 a piece to hunt down a deer that most likely doesn't know enough to run and even if it did, it would have no where to hide - (Remember? It's a BROWN, TREELESS, ISLAND). I wouldn't be surprised if one day the deer walked up and just took a seat in the jeep.
So, here they sit, attorneys and business owners. Just sitting there, waiting for the weather to clear just enough to land the airplane on a dirt strip out there so they can get on with the "hunt". If you ask me, they might as well go "hunting" in a zoo but, whatever. I guess the thinning of the herds is necessary - or the deer eat everything there - and the money is used for the park service to maintain the island - park rangers go there and live in shifts, a week at a time. But if those deer ever get a hold of some of those guns and decide to thin some herds...oh well, that's my fantasy of the day!